we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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