Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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