real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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