Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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