if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I believe in your delicious
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
