I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
