I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
