I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ttyl tear gas
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
