I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
