I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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