Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
