Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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