sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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