i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
God, I missed his penis.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
