i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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