If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
