its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
