You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
