Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
