I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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