Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
