she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
