Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
