drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
