Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
