I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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