They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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