The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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