When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize