everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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