Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
