the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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