I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
