Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
