kristin has been a bad kristin
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
