My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's the barista slut.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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