help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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