I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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