we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
