Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love having hate sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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