I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
