I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
