i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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