just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
