oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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