The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
