white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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