We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
