you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
