I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
