No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
