I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
