North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
