dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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