We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
