Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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