i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize