Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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