It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
