Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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