Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize