Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
