Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
