it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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