i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
